Stillness 4. Confidence

G’day and welcome back.  We’ve already covered three sections of this series.  They were “Good Love”, get that feeling of love in your heart, no matter what.  “Big Picture”, so you don’t get all bent out of shape with little things.  And the third one, “Don’t Let People Mess With Your Mind”.

In this section we’re going to talk about Confidence.  So, confidence, what’s that?  Well basically it’s knowing what you’re going to do in the future.  There’s two aspects to confidence.  Those two aspects are self confidence and world confidence.  So, there’s a sense of what can I do about my life.

Let’s talk about self confidence.  There’s a sense that no matter what goes on around us we’ve still got to take responsibility for ourselves, no matter whether we’re in a relationship, alone or at work or whatever.  We’ve got to have some self confidence that no matter what happens we’re going to be OK.  

Now that means a belief that in the future, some time in the future, our dreams are going to happen.  In other words, if we want to be something we say, I have confidence that that will happen in the future some time.  It’s not as easy as it sounds because there’s a lot of things come along and make us feel like we’re not so confident in our ability to get there.  And I think this is where there’s a really good benefit in understanding the process of making things happen.  You see, the idea of creating a future for yourself has to have a series of components in it.  

Those components are called the “Manifestation Formula”.  And basically, the manifestation formula goes, you have to believe it before you see it, you have to smell it before you smell it, you have to taste it before you taste it, you have to see it before you see it, you have to hear it before you hear it.  In other words, your mind has to draw a picture of whatever you’re going to do in the future really clearly before you do it.  Otherwise it just won’t happen.  

Now that picture shouldn’t be a fantasy.  It can’t be like, tomorrow I’m going to turn up in the palace of the Queen and become King of England or something really ridiculous.  What the idea is, you start with a picture in your mind of where you want to go and then you acknowledge that there is absolutely no idea of the time frame between where you are right now and where you’re going.  You have no idea and nor does anything metaphysical have any control of time.  The only thing that controls time is you.  

So, confidence can be, yep, I’m going to achieve that outcome and absolutely, I’m going to be a world singer or I’m going to write a book but how long it’s going to take has nothing to do with confidence.  It’s got a whole lot to do with willpower.  And willpower says, well here are the steps along the way.  This is the sacrifice I’ve got to make along the way and here’s how I’m going to do it.  So, confidence doesn’t come from the actual picture of the end result as much as it comes from knowing that if you wake up in the morning and every day, no matter how hard it is, you do this, this, this and this and after a certain period of time your dream will come true.

Now, that’s like a footballer saying they want to get picked in the world football team or win the world cup in soccer and they’re sitting there all day imagining that they’re going to hit that target.  That’s pretty ridiculous.  So instead, what they do is they get out and kick soccer balls through a soccer goal or they catch goals in a soccer goal if they want to be a goalie.  But they start practicing and there’s no use practicing on your own.  You get a coach and the coach says, OK, to become a world champion you need this many skills and you need this level of standard of skill and you need to go through these stages that prove that you can do what you’re saying you’re going to do.  

So, the dream gives you confidence – yes, I really want to achieve that outcome, that’s my life, that’s self control, this is what my life should end up like.  The confidence comes also in the fact that there’s steps along the way and you need to keep applying yourself to those steps and there’s no choice.  If you don’t fulfill those steps you’ll lose confidence.  

And there’s a lot of people who sit there on the couch fantasising about achieving some outcome or wishing they would achieve some result, that their dream is there but they don’t practice.  And really, even if you meet the most acclaimed performer in any area of life, guitar or a singer or a soccer player or an airline pilot, whatever it is, even a parent, they’ll practice, practice, practice.  And even when they’re world famous they still practice.  

Even a rock band that’s on a tour, still practices three or four hours a day for the concert.  And sometimes, I know the Rolling Stones rehearse for six months before a world tour.  So the six months is the investment they make and then when they’re on tour they’ve just got to maintain things as good as they practiced them.  So, we can give that as being a part of confidence.

And the second part of confidence is confidence that the world around you is going to be good enough for you to live your vision, live your dreams.  And that’s where we really need to tune into nature because the world’s not going away and even though you think of the doom and gloom, you know the greens and peace and all this sort of thing, and global warming, you have to come to the acknowledgment that the fact is the earth’s been here for three billion years, it’s going to be here for another three billion years, whether you like it or not or whether we green it or not.  So, yeah the world’s going to be around but you aren’t.  That’s the key.  The world’s going to be around for a heck of a long time but you haven’t got all that much time.  

So, there’s a sense of contribution or participation in the world and a sense of do or die.  A sense of go out there and participate and let the world bring you the magic and this is where it’s really important, we have to expose ourselves to the world.  The world does not come to us and say, come on, get out of your house and achieve these things or come on, you haven’t practiced the guitar enough, it doesn’t matter, we’re going to make you famous.  It doesn’t do it like that.  What it says is, you work hard, you practice hard, you train hard, you do the work that you need to do and you do it and do it until you think you shouldn’t do it any more, and then do it some more and eventually you’re ready for the world, not the world is ready for you.

So, we need to flip that and have confidence that yes, if you do the work and you do the homework and you do the research and the study that you’ve got to do to achieve the standard that you’ve set yourself for your profession or your art, then the world wants you.  The world wants you out there and it needs people and it needs what you do but it doesn’t need what you do until you’ve done it right.  Until you’ve done it correctly, until you’ve done it to a good standard.  And that’s the practice, just practice, practice, practice.  And for the practice you need a coach and that coach, I recommend, is a person who’s got what you want.  A person who’s achieved what you want to achieve, a person who’s succeeded where you want to succeed, so they know the road.  And you follow them along that road back where they used to be until such time as you can say, OK, I’m going to step on your shoulders now because I’m about to step over where you achieved. 

So, there’s two ways to get confidence – self confidence and world confidence but really it all comes down to getting a good vision of the future, seeing in your mind’s eye and tasting, touching, feeling, smelling, hearing the experience of being at your vision, at your destiny.  Then, doing the homework, practice, practice, practice, practice, and then, on top of that, saying, when I’m ready the world will welcome me.  

In other words, we’ve got to go out in the world and not practice, practice, practice and become a legend in our own lunchbox.  We need to go out there in the world and celebrate what we do, even if it’s not good enough yet.  The world is ready for not good enough.  That’s OK, and it will welcome not good enough and you’ll grow as a result of exposure.  So, the most important thing – if you want to be an international speaker, go and speak, and fail, and speak, and fail, and speak, and fail, until such time as you speak and don’t fail.  And keep going along those ways.  That’s how you develop confidence, the ability to exist and be incompetent in the world is where you get self confidence from.